Vanera's Last Journal Entries

Entries in the journal of Vanera Kjavabo from the summer of TE 452

Here I am once again on the road, off to another adventure following Tengelbur. There is a reason they call him Tengelbur of the Road. The man cannot be content to settle down in a nice town somewhere with a pretty wife. I do not know why I let him talk me into going with him. Especially when we know so little of what we are getting into. But I seem unable to say no to him.

Two nights ago, Talarja and I were about to sit down to a quiet dinner, when Tengelbur and Anaris walk in uninvited.  Tengulber says he has heard rumors of a tower called Subijar-i-Yalir, the Sorcerer's Tower. He naturally assumed I would be going along. Upon my raising the question of going, he insists that I will go.

“Yes! You’re coming with me and your sister! And we’re going there to find adventure. Also, treasure. Ancient hidden mysteries, which I am told are your jam.” He exclaimed all the while looking through the cupboards for something to eat.

“Yes,” I replied. “But I will have to talk to Talarja first.”

Talarja emerged from the back room. “What’s this now?”

“They want me to go out of town to explore a tower.” I said in reply to her inquire.

“Right!” Tengulbur piped in. “In a haunted wood.”

“But apparently there will be some form of romance.” It was Anaris who spoke. “I’m confused about that bit.”

“That’s tied to the haunting.” Tengulbur explained.

“Oh, well,” Talarja sighed. “I mean, you just got back, but…”

“I know!” I cut in. “I just got back!”

“I suppose this is important though, your work and all, and I--” Talarja had begun to say.

“One word. Treasure.” Tengulbur cut in.

“You know, you said that last time.” I said referring to the ivory expedition.

“There was treasure! There was. Reiana could tell you. She went down there. There was in fact a sunken ship full of ivory. Also infested by a massive, horrifying, cursed creature from the dawn of time.”

“I know, but—”

“How could we possibly have known.” He chuckled. 

“I do have business. I need to send out letters so I can sell this book.” I held up the little book I had made while trapped on the island for two weeks. Tengulbur’s doing.

“Right. I suppose you could write those on the way and drop them back off on the way back.”

“I suppose if you left that with me, dear, I could be your secretary.” Talarja offered.

“There you have it! My sister once again saves us all.” Tengulbur triumphantly stated. Though I’m not sure what other time she has saved us.

“But, is that too much, darling?” I asked earnestly looking into her eyes. It’s not that I doubted Talarja’s business skills, but I do worry about her being taken advantage of by others and not getting a fair price for the book.

“No, it’s alright, actually. I don’t mind having a bit of work to do. You see, I spent rather a lot of time with Vitherai last time you left, and she can be a little tiresome after a while, honestly. I hate to say that. Oh,” Talarja turned to Tengulbur. “She’s expecting to see you again, Tengulbur.”

“I suppose she is. I suspect her husband is as well and has prepared his largest hammer.” Tengulbur chuckled.

“But,” Talarja continued. “I could have a bit of work, and we’ve got to make a living somehow. I do want to support what you do, and if you’re going to make your—our—fortune, then exploring old ruins—you need to explore old ruins, dear.”

“She has a point, Vanera. You’re running out of furniture to sell.” Tengulbur stated.

But what does he know of domestic life, furniture, and money? This is the man who took handfuls of gold and threw it into a river for no apparent reason. I paid him no heed.

“Are you sure, Talarja?” I asked.

“What happens when the little Vanera’s start coming?” Tengulbur interjected again.

“Well, they haven’t.” I stated.

“Ah yes. I am sure that is a long-term plan.” Then Tengulbur proceeded to make what I felt to be both an awkward and inappropriate comment. I blinked twice, and Talarja stared blankly at me.

“In any case,” Talarja continued. “I would be quite happy to see about selling the book. I can write to the Red Scriptorum. It will take a few weeks, but if it is worth as much as you seem to think, then it will be worth it. It should be enough to pad the nest for quite some time.”

“Yes! See, she said it! Nest.” Tengulbur cut in again. “Reiana is coming. She has weapons coming out of her very ears. We will be safe. Also, Tanurendal knows his way around the North, what could possibly go wrong? They can’t possibly have ancient, multi-faced creatures from before the dawn of time in this wood.”

“Why not?” Talarja asked.

“Because they only have those under the water.” He said confidently.

“Do they?” Talarja asked.

“I assume so. I feel that if creatures of that nature lived on land that they would have already eaten this town and moved on.”

“I mean, if not for such an adventurer as yourself to protect us, and also the city watch…”

“Trust me, sister dearest, the city watch of this lively little berg would have peed themselves before dying horribly.”

“Well, I mean Raoseina, he’s a veteran. Vanera, you said he was with the Dogs of Winter.” Talarja looked to me.

“Correct, he alone would not have peed himself before dying horribly. He would have died a dry man.” Tengulbur stated.

Talarja sighed. Then she leaned over to me. “Did Tengulbur pee himself?” She asked referring to the ivory expedition.

I was at a loss for words. Why were we talking about this? It did not seem in the least to be an appropriate topic, especially before dinner. I assume my mother-in-law did not teach them that such topics are not appropriate in polite company. But then, Tengulbur is not polite company.

“I think you should go, Vanera.” Talarja changed topics. “Just for a little while. It’s not that far as I understand it, and if—if you learn something—that would be helpful to your overall designs.”

“Darling, if you don’t want me to go, just say so and I won’t. Then I will throw all these people out of our house, and we can go on with dinner.” I made a sweeping gesture to the door.

“It’s not that I don’t—” Talarja began but was once again cut off by her brother.

“There’s dinner?” He asked loudly. It is extremely hard to have a conversation with anyone if Tengulbur is in the room.

“It’s not that I want you to go, it’s just that, well, this is your business. This is your career. I don’t want to stand in the way of that.”

“Also, your destiny. Tell him, Anaris, that this is where he’s meant to be.”

“This is where you’re meant to be.” Anaris spoke as told.

“I understand that marriage to a famous scholar is going to come with some sacrifices. But we’re young right now. We’ve got a lot of time. And later on, I may need you around more, so if you got to do this sort of thing, then this is not a bad time.” Talraja said reassuringly.

“Alright.” I said hesitantly. “I suppose I will go with you, Tengulbur.”

“I will take that as a yes. Your resounding commitment to my adventure warms the cockles of my heart.”

I fear some people may see me as overly cautious, or not as an enthusiastic historian and archeologist. But I am! I love learning and documenting things I as discover them. It brings me great pleasure to sit and write in my little leather-bound books and sketch Sacred Wells, or whatever else I might run into. It’s just that at the moment my heart is elsewhere.

I did not want to leave Talarja so soon after getting back. We have just been parted for a whole month, and now I am being asked to part with her for three more weeks. We have only had a few uninterrupted months together to enjoy married life. Before that I was parted from her for a year. That is why I was so surprised that Talarja did not put up a fuse over my leaving as I expected. There was no pleading, no tears, no cold shoulders.

The fact that she did not protest in the least about my going has bothered me. I understand her wanting to support me in my endeavors, but to not even once say something about how much she would miss me, and how she would prefer I stay but understood that I needed to go, was unusual. Last time I left she at least protested some. A man wants to know he will be missed by the love of his life.

Her comments about lining the nest, or how she would need me in coming months, has me thinking that she is with child. But surely Talarja would have told me that. She would not keep something like that from me. Unless she knew I would not go if I knew, and she thought it better I go and make a livelihood doing what I’m good at, discovering things and documenting them. Afterall, that is the reason I came out here in the first place. She would have been right in thinking I would not go. I would have stayed to take care of her, though I do not know how much help I can be in these matters.

Mother always had her mother and servants to help care for her, and I cannot clearly remember seeing Father do anything to help Mother, though I am sure he did. But these are things I never thought to ask him about, because being a father has always been something so far off in the future, it never occurred to me I would need to learn about them so soon.

I do find the thought of being a father overwhelming. I know very little of caring for infants, and the small things really frighten me. They are so delicate. I would never hold any of my sisters until they were well over a year.

I also know very little about birthing them. I have heard that it is very painful. I have also heard stories of women dying while giving birth. Perhaps if Talarja is with child I should write to my mother or hers to come. Though I do not relish the idea of her mother being pinned up with us in our small house for several months to help. It sends a chill down my spine just thinking about it.

Perhaps I am a poor husband for not having outright asked her about it. Perhaps I should have stayed, even if I only have a suspicion about it. Perhaps I did not ask because I wanted to go.

There is one other reason I can think of as to why she would have been so eager for my leaving again so soon. It has been a fear that has plagued me ever since I first left for Cheykor, leaving my bride behind for what turned into a year. But I dare not write it down and chide myself for even letting the thought enter my mind.

….

A little about the tower we are traveling to.

In the early days of the Third Nalshbori War, a servant of King Orril, skilled in ancient lore and the use of the runes, traveled to the Hiksuyara Peiruar [The Fir Wood] and built a strong fortress, intending to wield the power of the wood in the war against the Nalshbori which were at that time streaming across the Cheyth in great numbers. But he was overmatched by the power which dwelt in the wood, it is said, and in after days things of evil crept in and dwelt there. These were all driven out, or so it is believed, by the Wayateth during the final days of that war, and since then no man has passed beneath its gate of ancient stone and returned to tell of what he saw.

….

The strangest thing has just occurred. We saw a figure standing off the side of the road. It was Tengulbur, but old Tengulbur. Missing his left hand. Young Tengulbur, our Tengulbur did not seem to be bothered in the least by this and talked with his older self. We were warned to turn back now. Then he said to "drink the cup to the bottom, but do not ring the bell". He then took hold of young Tengulbur and they merged into each other and disappeared! We are rather worried now, and the tales of this forest we have heard hold more weight.

…

After eight days of travel, we have just arrived at the tower! I am overjoyed at what I have discover to the point that I cannot help but write it down.

Upon arriving we discovered a silent and empty courtyard. Too silent if you ask me. There is no chirping of birds, no rustle of leaves. The drawbridge to the tower being down, we crossed over the moat surrounding the tower safely.

I have just examined the foundation of the building. That stones are much too large to be of Amborian construction and are ancient. At first I thought them to be from the First Eon Noe-Trian revivalist work, but on closer examination I realized they are not imitation work of the ancient Starland, but the real thing! I cannot wait to make a sketch and examine the rest of the tower. Who needs Tengulbur’s treasure when there is such a wealth of knowledge about?

I cannot wait to tell Talarja all about this!

Vanera's Journal: Winter 451

Fall/Winter 451 TE on the road to Sencankarr.

Delays! That is all we have had on our way back home! We were only four days into our journey when we ran into our first one. In the distance we saw smoke raising which turned out to be the remains of a merchant caravan. It appeared that some great force had overturned wagons and crushed them to pieces and piled all the bodies in a great mound to burn them. We found a young man under one of the wagons, Laran, who had set out for Cheykor with his sister Kjanle in the hopes of making a new life for themselves on the Marches of the Cheyth. Tanurendal did his best to search the pile of bodies for Laran’s sister, who happened to be wearing a gold bracelet that had two dolphins gracefully forming the band. He had no success, but we were able to count the bodies and came up one short which gave Laran hope that his sister might still be alive.

We spent two more days searching for Kjanle. I secretly was against spending so much time in the search. It was only delaying me from getting back to see my Talarja and saving her from her mother and Neras Garini. Turning up no clue as to her whereabouts, we headed to Ralakarr where Laran hoped the governor would help by sending the garrison in search of his sister. I thought we should have gone to him in the first place so we could be on our way, but after having met the governor for myself, I see that it would have been useless.

We had been on the road for nine days total when we reached Ralakarr. It could have been seven. We stayed at the Crossed Candles, where we heard of a tale of some minors who had broken into a “cyst” in the ground and unleashed some sort of pestilence that killed them all. Only one of the men survived to tell the tale before he too died. While listening to this story, some of the governor’s guard came and began asking questions before asking Laran to come with them to answer some more questions about the caravan at the governor’s palace.  Reiana and Tengelbur, who had met the governor before, both decided to accompany Laran. I felt something was off and had Tanurendal join me in following the group.

I believe Reiana and Tengelbur had some trouble getting in-- I was too far away to hear any of the conversation-- but at last they went in. I approached the gate with Tanurendal following. I spoke to the gatekeeper, a man called Verekan, and told him I had come from the Royal Library at Sencankarr for the yearly inspection of the governor’s library. He then went to get the librarian himself to verify this information.

The librarian was an old man named Neryaleth. He seemed gravely insulted that I would be here to inspect his library. As he sung the praises of his work at the library and why it did not need to be inspected, I was overcome by the strong desire to see it myself. It took a little convincing to make him realize I genuinely wanted to see his work, but he let us in.

We left Tanurendal outside the library, which gave him the opportunity to sneak around. I found the state of the library to be everything Neryaleth had boasted. He did an excellent job given the resources available to him. It would seem the library is not high on the governor’s priority list. It is really a shame. I am going to put a good word in for Neryaleth at the Royal Library. Perhaps something could be done for him. Maybe we could send him some ink….

I had asked Neryaleth if he had a favorite story, though I thought I already had a good idea. There were several copies of “The Wooing of Kanle” on his shelves. My guess had been right. At some point he made some comment about the wooing of women, and this instantly made me feel uncomfortable. He mentioned how he himself had a few notches in his quill, and I had to admit I had mine also. I feel people as a rule do not think of us scholars as being particularly of the romantic type, but we can be rather charming. Neryaleth then offered to read “The Wooing of Kanle” to me. How could I refuse? The poor man seemed so lonely.

The evening dragged on, and though I was enjoying myself for the most part, I knew I needed to get back to my friends. I finally made my excuses, though it was hard to decline taking my dinner with the old man. I do think he took a liking to me.

On my way down the hall, I suddenly found myself grabbed from either side by a guard, and I was escorted into the banquet room where my eyes were assaulted by the repulsive thing I believe I have ever seem in my life! Governor Neratsoan. He was the largest man I had ever seen. Not in height, but from side to side. He was enormous. I wish I had had my paper and pencil on me so I could sketch him to show my friends at the library. I do think they would all find it most interesting.

At this point I was still clueless as to what was going on, but Tangelbur was standing with his sword to the governor’s throat and making demands. Apparently Laran had claimed we had been the ones to ambush the caravan. He had been told to do so and testify in court if he wanted his sister to live. Tangelbur was overtaken when the governor batted him with one of his arms. At least I believe it was an arm. We were then all taken and locked up.

In the cell there was a trapped door that Reiana managed to open. Unfortunately, it was a waste chute for the palace, and the cell was flooded with all manner of unpleasant things. We did our best to climb on the iron bars to get out of it. My cloak that mother made me still smells of it. I have washed it at every stop along the way. I fear I shall have to burn it.

Thauthenai, the governor’s lady, came to the cell and made a deal with us. If we told her why we were really going to Sencankarr, then she would help us escape and find Laran’s sister. I truthfully told her why I was going. I had to go for a wedding. I did leave out that I was going to stop it. Tangelbur also claimed to be going for his sister’s wedding. Finally, Reiana told her our mission and she seemed satisfied. We were to make our escape in on hour when the guard changed.

In that long hour, Reiana asked me if I had someone at home. I told her I naturally had family. But she meant a lady. I did my best to brush aside the topic since Tangelbur stood less than three feet from me. He seemed to think I had a hard time with ladies and that one day I would find one to love. I must admit I found this amusing.

We made our escape and went to the house where Thauthenai told us we could find Kanle. As we approached, the overwhelming stench of mice castings and decaying bodies filled our nostrils. Tangelbur was able to get her attention through a window, and she made an excuse to the guard that she needed to relieve herself. He let her go out on her own, and we took her with us to meet with her brother. Then we left the city right away and bought horses in a nearby village.

We still have a long way to go before we reach Sencankarr. The nights grow colder as well. We cannot get there fast enough. I am impatient to see my lovely Talarja and hold her in my arm. Hopefully we will not run into anymore delays on our journey.

Vanera's Journal: Fall 451

Vanera’s journal entry just before leaving for Sencankarr. The writing is barely legible, as though it were written in a mad haste. 

Fall 451 TE

I have just received the most distressing letters. I must leave with all haste to Sencankarr. Anaris must come with me and marry Neras Garini! I cannot believe my mother has failed to make the match. Everything depended on it!

I only needed a little more time! I am sure I could have found a tomb of the Stone Kings. Now I must go home empty handed and face a world of trouble. If we are discovered, we may be shunned from society. Thrown out with all ties severed from all we hold dear. I shall be the black stain on the purity of my family’s name! This is not how I planned things…

(The text ends abruptly here then picks up in Vanera’s normal handwriting again a few spaces down.)

I went on a walk to work things out and clear my head. In this time of distress, I could think of no one to go to for advice. I most certainly could not speak to my friends or Anaris about it. I happened to be passing near the shrine of the Sacred Well when it occurred to me that perhaps I could seek answers there.

As I stooped at the low door of the small stone house that made up the shrine, I paused for a moment to catch my breath after the walk up the steep hill. As I did so I studied the ancient wood door. I believe it was older than anything else in Cheykor. The carvings were framed by the old, fluid, high script with the overlapping stems and fruits. I am quite familiar with the ancient writing being a scholar. I have seen it in old books, scrolls, on monuments, and on reliefs in Sencankarr. But here it seemed out of place not adorning a monument, but this ancient house of stone. Inside I could hear the gentle, rhythmic splashing of water to the low, alto chanting of Feala the Well Woman. As the song ended, I pushed open the door to the shrine and saw Feala making her way around the lip of the well.

I have tried to write down our conversation as well as I can remember it, for her advice is not something I wish to forget. My conversation with her proved to be both insightful and very uncomfortable.

“Are you going to remain outside examining my stonework? Would you like to come in? Tell me what it is that brings your weary to feet to my doorstep so late in the day.”

“Oh yes,” I said a bit hesitantly. I entered and looked around, then nodded to her.

“Hmm, and what can I do for you?” she asked.

“Well, I came mostly out of… curiosity. But I do seek guidance in a certain matter.” I replied.

She stirred the water with a sliver net. “What is it you wish to know?

“Umm, well… my future? I am going back home, and I foresee some difficulties. And I need some guidance as to what to do.”

“I can never tell when people come in and ask questions like this if their speaking in vague terms because they want to see if I really can read their thoughts, or if they’re just too embarrassed to be specific.”

“I think it might be more of an embarrassment issue.” I stammered out.

“What is the young woman name?”

I coughed. “Well, there are two young women actually.”

“Ahh.”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds.” I quickly interjected.

“I think you might need the apothecary down the road.”

“No! One of the young ladies I need to know about is my sister. You see, I am trying to marry her off to someone.”

“Anaris, yes.”

”Yes. And really any advice you can give me would be extremely welcome.

“I do not think she needs the sort of help I could give her.”

“Yes well….”

“Perhaps you should stop trying to correct your own failures in your sister

“Right…” I began to regret having come to ask advice. It felt most uncomfortable. “I will think about that.”

“Since you came here for advice,” she paused. “Merely because you failed to honor your parents wishes in regards to the choice of a spouse,” The room suddenly seemed to become rather hot, and I could feel the color rising to my face. “Does not mean that you need to control your sister’s choices. It is writ incumbent on your sister as it is on you to bring honor to her family. But that is her choice.”

“That’s a good point. I will think about that. A lot.”

“Was there anything else?”

“I don’t think I have anything else today.”

“You still have not asked me about the second woman. You mentioned that there were two.”

“Well, you covered that when you talked about the other thing. Sort of. I really would rather not go into detail. It is a little uncomfortable.”

She hmmed again. “You’re not doing her or yourself any favors you know.”

“I know. But I don’t know how to… well… you know…It’s really hard. But I hope to make things right when I go home.”

“In that case I would hurry home.”

“I am trying.” I stood there not knowing where to look and scanned the floor as though it were of great interest. “That’s all I have to say now. So I should be going now so I can go hurry on my way to go home. Fix my problems.”

“This I will say to you, scholar. Take the straight road. All others lead to chains.” The tone in which she said this was rather ominous. I nodded my head not really knowing how to respond to this.

“Right. Thank you for that. I am going now.” With that I quickly left and came back here.

I feel rather ashamed, if not guilty, that I have tried to sell off my sister to fix my problems. Anaris should be free to marry whomever she wills, as should I. I will just have to face my problems and overcome them. How badly could it end anyway?

I wish I could shake this feeling of worry in the pit of my stomach. As the hour of departure grows nearer it grows stronger. The journey back promises to be a long one now that the winter months are setting in. Hopefully we will not have too many delays.

No matter what happens, I do not regret my choices. If I had it to do over again, I would still do the same.